Pirates Ahoy!
by Chaos Silk
Summary: Squall's pants, Tidus's house and Sora, what do these three things have in common? they were kidnapped by Selphie of course. Shonenai and random cross dressing. Complete
1. Sora's in a what?

Pirates Ahoy!

By BloodyChaosDragonKnight a.k.a BloodyChaos

Disclaimer: I do not own Kingdom Hearts or Final Fantasy, I own all thirty-two of my muses, whatever original chracters I make up and a bag of pixie sticks, big difference

Author's notes of Insaneness: Ok, this is just a little something I came up with in geometry when I was supposed to be paying attention...not to mention high on sugar. It's the first Kingdom Hearts fic I ever wrote so be nice. I probably should mention that even though this is set on Destiny Islands, I'm basing the ages on how they were in their respective games, so Selphie and Squall are the same age and so on an so forth.

Warnings: It's AU if you didn't already guess. Randomness, some language, cross-dressing Sora (Cause I've been in a make guys crossdress mood lately) and hints at Sora/Riku Shonen-ai. You don't like, you don't read. All flames shall be used to set fire to random objects such as Tidus's pants.

"RIKU! PIRATES KIDNAPPED SORA!" Kairi's voice echoes through the morning air, startling the sleeping silver haired out of the tree. He lands on the ground with a loud thump and glares sleepily at the red head as she makes her way towards him.

"Quit being silly Kairi, everyone knows Pirates don't exist." Riku yawns, standing up and stretching, rubbing his sore spots. Kairi sighs and rolls her eyes, pointing to something behind Riku.

"Tell that to Selphie." She says simply, Riku turns around and blinks. He rubs his eyes to make sure he wasn't seeing things and then turns to Kairi. Selphie sits at the helm of a familiar looking ship that has been hastily painted pink.

"Isn't that Tidus's house boat?" He asks, pointing at the 'pirate ship' complete with a pink Jolly Roger flying from it's masts. If it was Riku was willing to bet Auron was ready to kill, if he already hadn't that is.

"Yep..." Riku scans the deck quickly looking for Auron which is suprisingly hard since the man's coat seems to have disapppeared. The poor man's eye is twitching like crazy, Riku chuckles as he spots Sora tied up beside him. The brunette was probably chattering the old man's ear off.

"And Auron actually agreed to this?" That Riku couldn't see that happening, especially since Auron was tied up and gagged

"Nope, but he didn't have much of a choice..." Kairi giggles, watching the man with interest as he somehow managed to shut Sora up just by looking at him.

Riku rolls his eyes and turns his attention back to the pirate ship spottting Quistis and Lulu wandering around the deck guarding Sora and Auron. Rikku and Yuffie stood nearby messing around with something they probably shouldn't have been, something that Auron was going to kill them for later.

"Quistis and Lulu went along with it?" Riku watches with interest as Zidane walks up to Lulu and starts chatting, Lulu gives the Genome a look that would've made Auron freeze. Somehow going along with Selphie's insane schemes didn't fit either of them.

"Blackmail..." Kairi sighs, Riku raises an eyebrow but doesn't ask, it's clearly none of his business. His only mission at the moment was to get Sora away from Selphie before his best friend was corrupted. He glances at Sora, then blinks noticing something he hadn't noticed before though how he didn't notice was kind of odd.

"And Sora's in a dress..." Riku says more to himself than to Kairi, already making plans as to how he's going rescue the 'damsel' in distress.

But first he needs a ship and then he needs a crew, he already had several people in mind who he was quite sure weren't on the other ship. Sora's elder brother would help, as would most of his friends, his own elder brother could be blackmailed into participating and several people would help just to get back at Selphie.

"Ye...WAIT! Sora's in a dress? We've got to save him!" Kairi squeals in excitement having just now realized what Riku just said, Riku raises a silvery eyebrow and nods, watching Kairi bounce around like Selphie...which was rather disturbing now that he though about. "Just as soon as I get my camera!"

Riku sweatdrops watching Kairi run towards the dock, he sighs and shakes his head. He'll never understand hyperactive maniacs and their obsession with blackmail.

TBC.

BloodyChaos: "You like? Hate or just want more?"

Raphael: "Why don't you just pay attention to the teacher next time?"

BloodyChaos: "Shut up Raphael, Sorry it isn't longer. But it's just a little teaser like thing...Oh and Sora and Riku's brothers are from FFVII but are not Cloud and Sephiroth...If anyone actually guesses who they are I would be shocked and stunned, I'd probably end up writing two chapters instead of one if someone actually guessed it right."

Zach: "So you say, but would you actually do it?"

BloodyChaos: "What is it with you muses today? Anyways please review and tell me what you though of it.It's just a first try."


	2. Kuja, Jecht and Rufus

Pirates Ahoy!

By BloodyChaosDragonKnight a.k.a BloodyChaos

Disclaimer: I don't own, I may be delusional fifty-seven percent of the time, but even I know that.

Author's notes of Insaneness: Sorry I've been really out of it...Really really out of it. I promise to get everything updated sometime this month we only have a couple more weeks of school.

Warnings: A typical story by me...

"Who are we looking for again?" Kairi asks bouncing up and down excitedly as they wander the streets of the main island. Riku's eye twitches and he stares at her, muttering about insane camera wielding maniacs under his breath.

"We're looking for anyone who is willing to help us either willingly, through blackmail or for homicidal tendancies towards Selphie." Riku says, ignoring the urge to slam his head into the nearest solid object. Kairi blinks.

"Ohhh...Like Kuja. HI KUJA!" Kairi yells waving at the disgruntled silverhaired mage who jumps and nearly falls down the stairs in his suprise. His dark blue eyes focus on the pair and narrow suspiciously, Riku sweatdrops as Kuja inclines his head towards them in greeting and walks over to them.

"Have you seen Zidane?" Kuja asks in a curt voice leaving no question as to what he would do to them if they did not immediately volunteer his foster brother's whereabouts. Riku stares at him for a moment sweatdrop growing larger by the minute, Kuja was well known for his dislike of Selphie.

"He's playing pirates with Selphie with Tidus's house." Kairi chirps, Kuja's eyes flash dangerously. Riku slowly edges away from Kairi as Kuja starts to mutter something under his breath, praying that whatever spell the silver haired boy is casting makes Kairi shut up for at least five seconds.

Unfortunately for Kuja his spell is interrupted by a large teenager running right over him screaming for some odd reason. Riku blinks, watching Raijin's retreating back with cautious green eyes and then directs his gaze into the direction that he came from which is quickly blocked out by a booted foot as someone (Fujin) kicks him out of the way and runs after Raijin shouting random words.

"AS SOON AS I FIND ZIDANE I AM GOING TO CUT YOU INTO A THOUSAND PIECES AND FEED YOU TO QUINA!" Kuja yells twitching repeatedly. Riku and Kairi look at him fearing for what little sanity he has left. He stands up, healing the bootprint on his face and dusting himself off. "So why are you two involved in this?"

"Selphie kidnapped Sora." Kairi explains with the wisdom of a hundred blondes, Kuja stares at her like she's lost her mind and looks to Riku for confirmation. Riku nods, sea-green eyes perfectly serious.

"Sora got kidnapped by pirates...BWAHAHAHA!" Kuja starts laughing maniacally, imagining Sora surrounded by kids pretending to be pirates. Riku sighs and rolls his eyes, if it just wasn't Sora he would've laughed too. But it was Sora, so he had to make time later to laugh about it.

"PIRATES! You kids say something about pirates?" Jecht's deep voice resonates down the street, Riku nods warily. Jecht was as unpredictable as he was crazy. He elbowed Kuja in the side to make him stop laughing, it was best to keep one's wits when dealing with Tidus's dad cause he's the one Tidus got his fighting skill from. "Well what do you know as it happens a bunch of pirates took over my house, kidnapped Auron and forced my kid to join them. Damn pirates need to be hanged on a flagpole by their underpants..."

"Uh...Ok Mr. Jecht. Whatever you say." Riku says, sweatdropping as he notices the sock on Jecht's head and decides he's just gonna walk away now. "Oh hey look there's my brother Rufus, We've got to tell him something...Hope you get your house back." Riku grabs Kairi who is giggling and Kuja who is eying Jecht like he wants to kill him and drags them towards his brother.

"No I will not save you from the man-eating mushrooms..." Rufus says sneering at his little brother as he approaches. Riku gives him the look that says you'd better help me or else. "Or else what?"

"Or else those little pictures I took at the halloween party will be pasted all over the town..." Riku smirks evilly as his brother pales several shades, Kuja raises an eyebrow at the two and Kairi wonders what kind of dirt Riku had on his brother.

"Alright what do you want me to do?" Rufus sighs, making a mental note to find where Riku hid the negatives, but knowing Riku it was probably somewhere he'd never guess.

"We're assembling a pirate crew to defeat Selphie and rescue Sora and you dear brother, have just been drafted."

TBC

Review Corner: Special Thanks to all reviewers and Super Special Thanks to all who guessed!

To Ravyn Mayfair: Uh...Reno wasn't even in that chapter...Sweatdrop

To ElfPrincessG: Thank you for reviewing my S.E.T (Sane Evil Twin for people who don't know)...I really like your Inuyasha story.

To Crescent Strata: Well, you got one right, Zack is Sora's bro and you were pretty close with Reno, but it's Rufus who's Riku's bro...It just popped into my head during class. I'm gonna have them appear next chapter maybe..

To Mako Anima: Of course BFA Jecht is funny and you can tell he really loves Tidus. I cried at that scene, I also cried when Auron died for real and Tidus disappeared. And I have no clue why it said I updated yesterday...shrugs is weird sometimes.

To Schizo: Yes blackmail is a very good thing...a very very good thing. I hope you get to feeling better.

BloodyChaos: "Yeah I know it's kind of short...but at least I got Rufus into it and Jecht."

Tiger: "And Kuja don't forget Kuja!"

BloodyChaos: Yeah yeah, anyways thank you for reading, please review and tell me what you think...Ciao."


	3. Huh!

Pirates Ahoy!

By BloodyChaosDragonKnight a.k.a BloodyChaos

Disclaimer: I don't own, I may be delusional fifty-seven percent of the time, but even I know that.

Author's notes of Insaneness: I'm really happy today wanna know why...well actually I dont know why I'm really happy today, I think I overdosed on caffeine or something cause my little cousins came over so I had to drink almost all of my pepsi stash.

Warnings: A typical story by me...which includes language

"You are so dead." Rufus growls, glaring at his little brother who smirks. "I don't care what happened or who was kidnapped by Selphie, you are not making me do anything." Riku mimes taking a picture and his smirk grows wider as Rufus pales and stutters.

"You'd better help, or your little secret's going to be all over town in a couple minutes...all I gotta do is mention it to Kairi here and it'll be all over the island in minutes." Riku says waving a hand towards the confused red head and looking all smug at his big brother. Rufus sighs and glares half-heartedly at him.

"You are an evil that rivals Sephiroth which is pretty evil." Rufus mutters pushing that lone piece of hair that was forever in his eyes back as he regards his brother. Riku's smirk doesn't even waver as he turns to Kuja.

"And here I was thinking that Kuja was the pretty evil one...of course in these pictures you're even prettier." Riku says brushing his hair back from his shoulders as he grins at Kuja who thinks it over. A smile forms on Kuja's face as he realizes exactly what Rufus was doing in said pictures as the blonde goes red in the face and starts muttering random death threats under his breath. Kairi just looks very very confused.

"If you know what's good for you, you'll shut your mouth." Rufus grumbles, not meeting anyone's eyes. Riku and Kuja exchange a look and laugh. Kairi decides to stop paying attention to them and looks down the street to see a most interesting couple walking their way. She pulls out her camera and starts taking pictures.

"KAIRI! STOP THAT BEFORE SQUALL BEATS THE HELL OUT OF YOU WITH A STICK!" A bruised and slightly bloodied Seifer yells while trying to get said stick away from a pantsless Squall before he kills Kairi. Kairi of course doesn't stop but increases her picture taking until Rufus, unwilling to allow future blackmail material to fall into her or Riku's hands takes the camera away.

"RUN! RUN FOR YOUR SANITY! THE END IS COMING!" Rufus screams waving his arms around like an idiot. Seifer and Squall pause in their bickering to stare at him like he's lost his mind. Riku whacks him upside the head with a newspaper. Kuja looks at them and shrugs, the insanity between siblings is not to be comprehended by those who do not pay any attention to them.

"Shut up before I tell Mom you're preaching about the apocolypse again." Riku says eye twitching in annoyance at his crazy elder brother. Seifer looks at Squall who sends him an evil look for stealing his stick and shrugs.

"Hey you guys wouldn't happen to know where Selphie is, do you? She kidnapped Squall's pants and now he's taking it out on me." Seifer says backing away from Squall who had started growling at the mention of Selphie. Riku raises an eyebrow at him. "Ok so I sort of deserved it...He still beat me with a stick whether I deserved it or not."

"Squall's pants, Tidus's house, and Sora. Selphie's been busy today." Kuja says, counting them off on his fingers. Squall looks at him questionably, Rufus and Seifer are to busy insulting each other to even look at the silver haired mage. "Your pants aren't the only things she's kidnapped and girly-pirate-fied (I just made it up)"

"Girly-pirate-fied?" Squall says, speaking for the first time in this fic. He gives Kuja a look that says 'Do I even want to know?', Kuja shrugs and turns his attention to where Seifer and Rufus were duking it out in an all out insult war. Riku had sat down on a nearby bench which had randomly appeared in the middle of the street to watch and eat popcorn.

"QUIT COPYING MY LOOK YOU PSYCHOTIC WANNABE SORCERER'S KNIGHTESS!" Rufus yells threateningly at Seifer, waving his fist at the other blonde who snorts at him. Kairi rescues her camera from the coconut tree where Rufus threw it and starts taking pictures of Squall again which earns her a bop on the head and the camera thrown back up the tree.

"I'M NOT COPYING YOUR LOOK! YOU'RE COPYING MINE! I HOULD BEAT YOUR CRAZY ASS INTO A COCONUT TREE!" Seifer screams eye twitching in a manner that suggests that Rufus should run before he gets hurt. Rufus for his part glares at him in a way that says 'beat me up and Tseng and Reno will take it out of your hide later', Riku snickers which prompts both to glare at him.

However just as they're about to actually come to blows and Riku's looking for Kairi's camera for blackmail material the least expected person intervenes...Raijin, who's still running from Fujin screaming at the top of his lungs and the only reason he could be counted as an intervention was cause he ran over both participants. Seifer sits up with a groan and glares at the large dark boy who is now cowering behind the coconut tree.

"RAIJIN! WHAT THE HELL!" Seifer yells, glancing at Rufus who's staring up at the sky with slightly unfocused eyes. The larger boy meeps and tries to hide behind the tree which doesn't even begin to cover him.

"FUJIN'S TRYING TO EAT ME, YA KNOW!" Raijin squeals girlishly, everyone sweatdrops as he continues to cower behind the coconut tree...A random sharp object flys through the air and hits the tree shaking it and making Riku fall out of it onto Raijin.

"MORON!" Fujin exclaims running up to Raijin and kicking him in the shin. Raijin wails and Riku falls off him and onto the hard ground swearing. Fujin points to a nearby house where a dark skinned woman is standing in the front yard sweatdroppng. "EAT!"

"Ow, you didn't have to kick me ya know." Raijin mutters limping over to his mother, who sighs and shrugs her shoulders. Fujin glares at him with her one red eye. "Ok so maybe ya did, ya know."

"Has we all completely lost our minds today?" Rufus asks eyes still unfocused as he regards his twitching brother. Squall looks at him with amusement in his eyes, despite his pantsless state and shrugs.

TBC

Review Corner:Special thanks to all.

To ElfPrincessG: Thanks, I'm working on the next chapter of Diamond Heart and it will have Vivi.

To MakoAnima: Lol I think I updated CII a while ago, but it was during Exam week so I just might be delusional.

To Schizo: Uh yeah I see Rufus as someone who needed to be taken down a peg or twenty, well at least in this fic anyways. He's really fun to write. I think I'll join you in the running around in circles sometime just as soon as I get my coffee.

To Lady Meko: Thank you, putting random guys in dresses just makes it funnier.

BloodyChaos: "Sorry I've ran out of pepsi or else I would've wrote more..."

Zach: "You're just lazy, admit it."

BloodyChaos: "I am lazy, anyone who knows me knows this."

Zach: "You know it's really hard to pop your happy balloon."

BloodyChaos: "Yep, I know. Anyways please review and tell me what you think. Reviews make my happy balloon grow larger even if it's just a sentence."


	4. Blackmail!

Pirates Ahoy!

By BloodyChaosDragonKnight a.k.a BloodyChaos

Disclaimer: I own my muses and I own this marble, but I don't own anything else.

Author's notes of Insaneness: It's been a while since I updated last, so I decided to get started on a new chappie.

Warnings: A typical story by me...which includes language. Implied shonen-ai between Tseng/Reno, Rufus/Zack onsided (maybe) Seynour/Tidus.

"What's with all the screaming?" A young red-head asks walking up with his group of friends. Rufus turns to glare at him, placing his hands on his hips. The red head blinks and scratches his ear nervously, looking at the wutaiian boy beside him who only sighs.

"Where exactly have you been? My brother's blackmailing us into helping him rescue his friend who's been kidnapped by hyper people pretending to be pirates." Rufus growls at Reno, Tseng, Rude, Elena, Scarlet, Heidigger, Hojo and Reeve most of whom who just stared at him, Rufus waves a hand in Riku's general direction reminding them that he did indeed have a brother.

"Blackmailing you? With what?" Reno asks scratching his head as he tried to recall all the blackmail material Riku had on his brother, but it kept on mixing in with the blackmail material he had on Rufus and believe me that was a lot. Tseng's eye twitches as he looks at the crazy red head. Rufus sweatdrops.

"You remember the party we had the weekend before last...Those pictures." Rufus says, Reno blinks as memories of that night flash through his head. everyone but Riku getting drunk, Rufus and himself crossdressing, him making out with Tseng, Rufus making out with Zack and Riku taking pictures of every single thing and laughing evilly. he looks at Tseng and flushes, thanking whichever god was watching over him that Tseng was too drunk to remember what happened.

"Oooohhhh that party." Zack says walking out from where he was hiding behind the fence...why he was behind the fence we'll never know. And we probably don't wanna know either cause Zack's creepy sometimes. Riku's eyebrow twitches as he regards Sora's elder brother.

"Have you been behind there the entire time?" The silver haired boy demands, trying to ignore Seifer and Kuja's discussion of their plans on world domination and Kairi's squeals as she glomps Squall who looks like he's about to kill her. Zack blinks and looks at him, scratching his head.

"Uh...maybe." Zack grins, proving to Riku at least that he had. Tseng starts questioning Reno about the party Rufus mentioned and is suprised when the red head flushes and looks away, stuttering something about not remembering. Hojo starts poking the grass and muttering about Mako, Heidigger and Scarlet wander off to do god knows what and Reeve just stands there talkling to himself..

"So are you going to help us rescue Sora or not?" Rikua asks crossing his arms and glaring at the black haired boy. Zcak thinks about and thinks about it...and thinks about it. Riku's eye twitches again. "Well Zack?"

"Can I get back to you on that, I can't remember what I was doing before I hid behind the fence." Zack says, scrunching his face up in thought. Riku stares at him in confusion. "I think it had something to do with..."  
"ZACK!" Sephiroth roars striding down the street towards him, Cloud at his side...Both look extremely pissed off.

"...Running for my life." Zack finishes in a rush, turning around and running screaming in the other direction which is towards Sephiroth since he was facing the other way. Riku sweatdrops, let it not be said that Zack is the brightest bulb in the package.

"Does anyone else realize that we need a boat?" Squall asks as Sephiroth proceeds to chase Zack up a coconut tree. Cloud shrugs and walks towards the group, anger with Zack forgotten now that he's stuck up a tree. Riku blinks and feels really blonde for not noticing.

"Seynour has a boat!" Kairi volunteers having been duct-taped to the fence earlier. Cloud looks at them all in confusion, Zack falls out of the coconut tree, Sephiroth laughs maniacally and Tseng is still trying to find somone to tell him what happened at the party, he's getting despearte enough to ask Zack...and god knows what Zack was doing.

"Why would Seymour let us use his boat?" Riku sighs crossing his arms and looking at Kairi who just bounces happily. Squall rumages in his jacket pockets for the roll of duct-tape to tape Kairi's mouth shut as well...which doesn't work all that well because you'd have to wrap it around her head several times to get it to stick. (Believe me I know from experience, Duct-tape is something no babysitter should be without.)

"Because he has a crush on Tidus." Kairi grins, Riku sweatdrops and Tseng goes to ask Zack about the party. Sephiroth walks over and starts arguing with Seifer and Kuja about world domination. Elena and Rude look at each other and shrug, watching Rufus twitch with amusement.

"Kairi, Tidus isn't here...But he is on Selphi's boat..." Riku grins as it all comes together. They tell Seymour that Tidus needs to be saved from the evil hyperactive Selphie and other various females and he'll come with them...It's perfect.

"I DID WHAT!" Tseng screams, falling over twitching at what Zack just told him, Zack still lying on the ground from where he fell out of the coconut tree. Reno flushes, realizing that Tseng was going to kill him...

TBC

Review Corner: Thanks to all

To RandomRenoFangirl: Uh yeah I was planning on it, but then my muses took it away. Plus I have a lot of weird things planned in this fic, so stay tuned...wait this isn't a tv.

To Schizo: She didn't, his mom told her to fetch Raijin so he could eat dinner and since Fujin only yells one word sentences he kind of translated it wrong and thought Fujin wanted to eat him.

BloodyChaos: "Well that was a short chapter..."

Zach: "But that doesn't mean it was a sane chapter does it?"

BloodyChaos: "...How very true. Anyways please review and tell me if you liked it Pretty please. Kk, bye!"


	5. Oh dear lord

Pirates Ahoy!

By BloodyChaosDragonKnight a.k.a BloodyChaos

Disclaimer: I own my muses and I own this marble, but I don't own anything else...

Author's notes of Insaneness: Welll it seems people like reading this...and it's been archived somewhere. Kawaii! Okies...My boyfriend's made an RP forum...I've going to put it up as my homepage so go take a look if you're intersted. I'm on it when I'm online.

Warnings: Go look at the previous chapters...No wait a sec I don't think I put up Seph/Cloud did I?

"Why should I let you use my boat? You have nothing to offer me." Seymour says looking all smug and important at Riku who's eye twitches as he realizes he has to explain it yet again. Sephiroth and Kuja's argument about world domination temporarily distracts Seymour from his goal of mocking Riku, but he snaps back to reality once Sephiroth kicks Kuja in the butt and stands on him shouting random obscenities. Cloud and Zack are watching Tseng twitch and try to forget he made out with Reno while he was drunk.

"Listen Seymour...Sora was kidnapped by pirates lead by the evil Selphie, she also kidnapped Tidus's house, Squall's pants and Auron...though nobody really cares about him. If you help us, I shall personally force Tidus into a dress and handcuff him to you." Riku says calmly, waving a pair of handcuff he got from his brother's pocket...Rufus flushes for some odd reason and looks everywhere but Zack. Seymour perks up immediately...even his hair suddenly gets more agreeable...It stops scaring Kairi.

"Of course! I would do anything for my beloved Tidus. Could you make sure it's a pink dress. It really brings out his complexion..." Seymour sighs dramatically, placing a hand against his chest as he thinks of his crush/stalkee. Riku sweatdrops and wonders where he's going to get a pink dress...but then remembers an incident Rufus had when he was his age.

"Sure thing..." Riku nods, smirking mischievously at his elder brother who flushes and looks away, his eyes darting towards Zack. Riku continues to smirk at his brother proud that for once something hadn't blown up in his face. He blinks as a very smug Tseng walks up with an unconscious Reno over his shoulder, Riku decides he doesn't want to know what happened after Tseng ran off after Reno when the red head decided to have a breakdown after Tseng's little 'I danced on Riku's coffee table naked' thing...Funny thing was he was there and didn't remember seeing that.

"Wait...we're still missing something." Kuja says as they begin to board Seymour's ship. Everyone pauses and looks at them, Zack nearly falls overboard as he turns, he stole Jecht's sake a little while ago and was now drunk off his ass. Everyone sweatdrops as he begins to grope Rufus while leaning on him.

"What?" Riku asks eye twitching as Cloud runs away from Sephiroth, whom Zack had shared the sake with and got psychotic-er when drunk. Kuja watches the silver haired psychopath chase his boyfriend for a second.

"A captain." Kuja says like it's the the most obvious thing in the world. Riku stares at him like he's lost his mind, Seymour looks appaled that his friend would even suggest such a thing, Sephiroth walks back on the boat carrying a fuming Cloud and Rufus yelps as Zack starts drooling on him.

"Kuja I"m the captain...It's my boat." Seymour states as he turns the key and starts the motor running, not noticing Reeve fall off the edge of the deck due to a certain red head who had regained consciousness and was now running for his sanity...which he didn't have much of. Riku glares at him.

"No I'm the captain. If it wasn't for me none of us would be off to save anyone." Riku says, Seymour thinks about it. He does make a very good point...But still.

"I'm Captain."

"No I'm captain."

"YOU'RE BOTH WRONG! I'M CAPTAIN BECAUSE I STOLE YOUR UNDERPANTS!" Kairi yells waving said undergarments around, Riku and Seymour flush and both check to make sure...Both begin to closely resemble tomatos as they realize that yes Kairi had indeed stolen their underwear...How did she do it? Well hanging around Rikku and Yuffie did wonders for a girls theiving and stealth skills. A collective sweatdrop gathers.

"Right...Kairi's captain then." Riku says, looking away which just happens to be in the same direction that Zack and Rufus are. He grows even redder at that and looks back to Kairi. "Can I please have my underwear back now?"

TBC

Review Corner: Thanks to All! Sora in a dress plushies for everyone.

To MakoAnima: I agree he certainly does have amusing hair. And thanks, random insanity has always been my forte. Just ask my drama teacher .

To RuN-FrOm-h3r3: Thank you... I'm glad you liked it.

To Schizo: I know that's why I put it in there. Thanks for reviewing.

To WhiteWingedSoldier: lol, thanks. I just felt like throwing them in the mix cause they're fun to write.

To Xeno: Thank you I like to keep things interesting.

To RandomRenoFangirl: It is a weird pairing but I've seen/read weirder.. s'ok if you're not a yaoi/shonen-ai person, not everyone is.

BloodyChaos: "...I have no clue where that came from..." Looks over at her muse of humor.

Zephyr: "I thought it'd be funny and Tiger gave me the idea."

Tiger: "Don't drag me into this. I steal pants not underwear."

Zephyr: "I also blame the large amount of pepsi and sugar you just had."

BloodyChaos: "...Anyways. Please review and tell me what you think Kk, next chapter will be longer and not so...weird."


	6. Umm

Pirates Ahoy!

By BloodyChaosDragonKnight a.k.a BloodyChaos

Disclaimer: I own my muses and MakoAnima has my black marble...but I don't own anything else...

Author's notes of Insaneness: Well peeps it's been fun...I'm guessitmating we have about 1-2 chapters left...ah well I guess I'll have to start something new...I've been planning to anyways.

Warnings: Go look at the previous chapters, a little Seifer/Squall at the end...Maybe Seymour/his boat...But only if you're really weird like me.

"Ok...Kairi's captain. Now all we have to do is rescue the guy in a dress by the pirates in the neon pink ship...And then I can go back to molesting Cloud without distractions." Sephiroths says walking up to the two young men who were trying to figure out a way to put their underwear back on without flashing the whole ocean, sadly it was impossible for Riku but not for Seymour because he was wearing his formal robes. Sephiroth watches the younger teen fume for a second, a maniacal gleam in his eye and a pouting Cloud tossed over his shoulder.

"Hiya Seph!" Zack yells waving drunkenly at the silver haired teen, who raises an eyebrow at him. Riku sweatdrops as he watches the half-clothed maniac wobble around the deck, sometimes coming periolosuly close to the edge and wonders how this moron could be related to Sora...Darling sweet Sora...Riku smiles a dazed look coming over his face as he thinks about the cute brunette.

"Full Speed Ahead!" Kairi yells, jumping on Seymour's back and pointing towards the play island, where Selphie's ship can be spotted. Kuja nods and starts spinning the steering wheel around...making them crash into the dock. Seymour's eye twitches.

"WHO DECIDED TO LET YOU DRIVE!" Seymour screams pushing the silver haired mage away from the wheel and petting it...Suprisingly the boat wasn't damaged, oh no they were saved by Zack when he may or may not have fallen off the ship...who also may or may not have gotten kicked off by an irate Rufus who was mad about his favorite shirt. Kairi blinks, staring at the black haired man floating face up in the water from her vantage point on Seymour's back.

"Reno did..." Kuja says, rubbing his head as he looks up at the purring villan. Seymour pretends not to hear him, opting to instead continue to reassure his boat that he loves it. Said red head walks up, glances at Kuja, Seymour and Kairi, sweatdrops, grabs Zack's bottle of Sake and walks off in a random direction.

"ZACK! YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO EVEN ATTEMPT AT DROWNING! I HAVE FIRST DIBS ON TAKING YOUR LIFE!" Sephiroth yells much to the displeasure of Cloud who is thrown over his shoulder, who sinces. The silver haired man waves a fist at the drunken maniac, ignoring the stares he's getting from the rest of the crew.

"CAN WE PLEASE LEAVE! THE SOONER WE GET STARTED THE SOONER WE CAN PRETEND THIS NEVER HAPPENED!" Riku yells eye twitching as he glares at Seifer and Squall who were still bickering over who gets to save Squall's pants. Seymours stops caressing the steering wheel to looks at him and blinks. Riku stares at him and mouths 'Tidus in a dress' making the blue haired villan nod enthusiastically, dislodging Kairi from his back.

The engine starts and they're off, searching for the pink pirate ship. Riku and Squall nearly cry with joy as they finally start towards their goal instead of running backwards from it. Seifer grins and pats Squall on the back, which of course ends uo as a grope, earning him a kick in the shin. But it was so worth it, after all nobody can resist a guy who's wearing nothing but a t-shirt and boxers...especially if he has a nice ass.

Riku shivered, suddenly feeling quite odd. Was it just him or did he have a bad feeling about this. He shrugged, after all what could happen. The worst would be them getting kidnapped and forced to crossdress like Sora.

TBC

Random Question Corner: Hosted by my lovely muses,

Today's random question: If Kuja was made to crossdress would he crossdress as a boy or a girl? (From MakoAnima)

Tiger: "That's an easy one...it'd be as a girl because his clothes are actually just a very messed up mages outfit and if you look closely he's wearing armor as well."

Zach: "...But wearing pants would be more embarrassing for him since he's always wearing robes."

Tiger: "True...But the question is, do we want him to wear pants? Guys in dresses are always fun to watch."

Zach: "You and your twisted twisted mind."

Tiger: "Not just me, almost everyone else either agrees with me or has been bribed/blackmailed/beaten into agreeing with me."

Zach: "...Now we all know who scared the fish."

Athena: "Yep, I did!"

Zach: "...Never mind."

Review Corner: Thanks to all. If not for you guys I probably would be asleep...

To MakoAnima: I forgot that I gave you my black marble...And of course Jecht stole the Sake from Auron where else would he get sake?

To Makaihi: Thank you...I think. No worries though I barely get what I'm writing sometimes.

To RuN-FrOm-h3r3: yes it is interesting...Hopefully this is soon enough.

To Random Reno Fangirl 05: Yep, Keep up the insanity in Trapped. Weird pairings are fun.

To Random Person: Umm I don't have any fruit salad, sorry. Thank you, if/when you post your story please tell me so I can read it .

To skippinsunday: Thanks, that's the whole point of this fic.

BloodyChaos: "Well...It's kind of short...I've been in a slump lately so...next chapter will be longer and better. please review."


	7. and we're done

Pirates Ahoy!

By BloodyChaosDragonKnight a.k.a BloodyChaos

Disclaimer: I own my muses and I now have my black marble back...but I still don't own anything else.

Author's notes of Insaneness: Sorry about the late updatedness I've been having issues...and such.

Warnings: Go look at the previous chapters,

_Riku shivered, suddenly feeling quite odd. Was it just him or did he have a bad feeling about this. He shrugged, after all what could happen. The worst would be them getting kidnapped and forced to crossdress like Sora._

Scratch that, the worst thing would be having everything but his boxers stolen and then tied to the mast with Auron who did not look the least bit pleased.

"Attempted rescue attempts from a crazed fangirl should never be done with a another fangirl in charge. They're almost always in league with each other." Auron advises, frowning slightly as Tidus walks into view, Sora (still in a dress) two steps behind him.

"Riku!" Sora shouts happily running towards them and hugging the bound Riku who sweatdrops. "They didn't put you in a dress."

"Of course they didn't put me in a dress. I'm to manly for such things." Riku says, ignoring Auron's snort. Sora blinks, releasing him from the hug and looks at him.

"Apparently you're not manly enough to recognize a trap when you see one. Kairi was with Selphie the whole time. Thank god I'm on your side." Tidus says, pulling a sharp object from his pocket and starting to saw at the ropes.

"If you were on our side why didn't you do this sooner?" Auron growls at his blonde ward who grins at him.

"Because this is the first time I've been allowed to be in the same area with you without a guard…Plus we needed reinforcements. I mean you, me and Zidane couldn't take on an entire pack of girls" Tidus says as the ropes drop to the ground freeing Auron and Riku.

"Hey what about me?" Sora says pouting as Auron and Riku stretch and rub their wrists to get the circulation flowing. Tidus almost smirks at the crossdressing brunette.

"Selphie would sacrifice you to the mermaids if you ruined her prettiest dress." Tidus states, waving a hand at Sora's overly ornate white princess dress, complete with puffy sleeves.

"You know I almost regret that I promised Seymour I'd shove you in a pink princess dress and force you to go on a date with him." Riku says absentmindedly, Auron smirks, which is about as close to laughter as he could get and Sora's eyes widen.

"WHAT!" Tidus shouts, pointing at Riku who blinks. Zidane runs onto the deck, followed by Kuja, eyes darting around wildly.

"Oops did I say that out loud?" Riku asks, seemingly amused at Tidus's reaction. Zidane calms down, seeing it was just Tidus overreacting…again. Sora is now very, very lost and Auron isn't helping much. "So what's our plan of action?"

"Get to Selphie's house and tell her mom on her!" Zidane practically shouts, jumping up in the air, tail waving. Kuja rolls his eyes.

"And where are the girls?"  
"Watching Selphie force Squall to crossdress. Seymour's got the boat ready all we have to do is make a break for it."

"Any guards?"

"Lulu and Quistis who will swear on Leviathan they saw nothing but air."

"Excellent."

"Riku, you sounded just like Mr. Burns when you said that."

"Sora, I love you. Shut up."

/Twenty minutes later. /

"I love my boat and I love my Tidus." Seymour sings patting his boat and pulling Tidus who was now wearing Sora's dress. Sora now decked out in Tidus's clothing is running around chanting something random. Riku is watching him from his post beside Auron.

"You know I almost feel bad for abandoning Sephiroth, Rufus, Seifer, Squall, Zack, and Cloud to the rabid fangirls." Riku says, glancing at Auron. "Who knows what they could do to them in that amount of time."

"You'll get over it…I wonder if Jecht's drank all my sake yet." Auron muses, looking up at the sky,

/Meanwhile…/

"So Squall do you admit that losing your pants was worth the adventure." Selphie asks, glancing at her cards. Kairi sits behind her bouncing up and down excitedly.

"I have a full house! I have a full house!" She squeals, showing everyone her cards. The boys glance at them memorizing what she has. Selphie sweatdrops.

"Kairi dear, we're playing go fish." Selphie says exasperatedly.

"It was amusing…but it still wasn't worth losing my pants for." Squall says, glaring at Seifer as he tries to molest him. " Though the trouble you're about to be in will be."

"What trouble?"

"The other guys are going to get your mom…" Selphie pales. "What you didn't know? Oh dear, how very amusing." Squall laughs.

/Back to Riku and Sora./

"Hey Riku…" Sora calls as Selphie's house comes into sight. Riku walks up, leaning on the deck. "Thanks, you know. For everything."

"You're welcome Sora." Riku grins, wrapping an arm around Sora's waist. "So do I get a kiss for saving the 'princess'?" Riku asks, smirking down at the younger boy.

"Of course you big dork." Sora leans up and presses a chaste kiss to the silver-haired boy's lips as they pull into the dock and Selphie's mom runs out, Jecht five steps behind her.

FINI

Thanks to all for reading and reviewing, your comments have been much appreciated. I'm dreadfully sorry for making you wait for the final chapter.

BloodyChaos: "Awwww isn't that cute…. Man I suck at those scenes."

Z: "That's why I'm here."

BloodyChaos: "True…Anyways dear readers thank you for reading and I hope you enjoyed it, please review and tell me what you think. I may be convinced to write another KH fanfic sometime in the future."


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